[This is a guest post from @jgrunsthecity…I wish I had written it, but I won’t take credit for her great work]

Is Antoine Dodson the real life Lafayette?


If you are not a True Blood Stan like I am you probably don’t get the reference. However you can see the above video for the connection. Now I’m sure we’ve all seen the Antoine Dodson video by now. We’ve seen the remix, the auto-tune, everything. We’ve even seen the follow up video that the news did about the internet sensation that he has become.

Now please don’t take this post as some deep intellectual musing, but just hear my thoughts as they came to me. A lot of people argued that the reason that the intruder got away was because Antoine Dodson is “soft”. Some people were like “he needs to come out of the closet” and his sexuality became a the end of many jokes and the focus of this video. Interestingly enough, via his myspace page, Antoine Dodson clearly admits that he is gay. So there goes that.

But what I find interesting is this idea that if a man is gay then he is no longer a man. Interesting. Many “straight” men have made the extreme mistake of stepping to the wrong gay man and ending up looking up at him from the ground. i.e. the above clip from True Blood. Now Nelson Ellis is not gay, and that was simply acting, but it speaks to a truth we often don’t want to recognize. I think The Wire might have even had a Gay Thug character, but I never saw that show so I won’t comment.

We know that the news is good for putting society’s less “acceptable” members on front street and so this seems to be no different. In this case though, it seemed as though attention was quickly shifted away from the intent of the news piece, a woman was almost raped by an intruder, to a brother who emotionally expressed his feelings. I sincerely feel that had he have made the same comments in DMX’s voice many people would have simply rolled their eyes at the sight of a black person acting the fool on TV and moved on. We can deal with “Ghetto” but “gay” is a whole ‘nother thing. His flamboyancy however made it an internet sensation.

I can’t help but feel that we still cannot grasp the idea that gay men are still very much in fact men, and just like those that sleep with women, they too can be protectors. It goes deeper into the idea that we have a hard time defining masculinity. Some girls talk about wanting the bad boy because they know that he can protect. Or they want the tall man because they will feel safe. All of that to me has little to do with the actual act of protecting someone. If your brother was Antoine Dodson would you immediately discredit his masculinity or his ability to whoop ass simply because he has a fondness for men and fashion? I honestly hope not.

While the video was certainly funny and not funny at the same time, a young sista was assaulted, I think it still brings up some interesting thoughts to consider. I’m sure Antoine is loving his new-found fame just as much as anyone else would, and hopefully, all of this attention will lead investigators (who hopefully are still concerned with the case) to the perps of this crime. According to some of the tweets on his twitter he often makes mention of how they ARE looking for the intruder still.

At the end of the day I guess the point I’m trying to make is that masculinity cannot be simply defined by the sexual orientation of a man, just like femininity cannot be defined by the partners of a woman. “Punks” or men that could not stand up to a flower exist all over the spectrum and I don’t believe it is the cause or the result of homosexuality. Some dudes just don’t have it. Just like some women don’t want kids. Either way it is there perogative and the world keeps on spinning.

To Antoine Dodson I say, yea* I laughed. Your appearances on the video were funny. However I also say “kudos” to you for coming to your sister’s aid and being dedicated to finding the person who did this to her. I have no doubt in my mind that you could kick that fool’s tail.